2014

 

 This year was so incredibly strange. I lost so many people for so many different reasons, met hundreds of new people, moved halfway across the world, cut my hair shorter than I've ever had it, and visited one of the places I wanted to visit most in the world.

Let's start with moving halfway across the world.
So I lived in Qatar for 7 and a half years. All of my friends were there. Most of my memories were made there. Even though no one in my family lived there, my friends and my family friends felt like family. I miss every one of them so much.
This summer, I moved to Canada. I only had one person I considered a friend in the whole country. I went to my new school in September. I knew no one there. Not a single soul. I remember the first conversation I had there. I was in the coatroom, when the teacher walked in and told me and another girl that was there that we both looked familiar. The other girl told her that she'd been going to the school for years, and I said that I was completely new. The teacher asked her to show me around the school, which she did. We were both so painfully awkward. Now that I know her more, she is a very quite and awkward person in general, and thankfully it wasn't just me. I am not a very shy person at all.
When you first meet me, I try my best to talk and not be quite, which can sometimes be hard. But I am quite an extravert. I know that now. My friend often says that I am "way too popular for the new girl." I don't think I'm popular, I just talk a lot and make friends fairly easily. Is that the definition of popularity? Never mind. I'll talk more about that later.
I was so so so nervous to go to a school where I knew no one. In fact, my stomach felt weird every time I thought about it. I prepared myself and set my expectations so low so that I wouldn't be sad if I didn't make any friends. Surprisingly, I went home knowing that there were two people I considered friends.

Obviously, I lost a lot of people because of the move. I rarely talk to my friends from Qatar. I miss them so much, especially today for some reason. It hurts to see them post photos from when they were last together. It just reminds me that I will never be in one of those for a long time.
But I also made a lot of new friends and gained so many people. I am grateful for that. But it feels so wrong to call someone my best friend now. I feel like I'm betraying my old best friend, even though I think that she probably calls someone else her best friend now. I think I'm okay with that. Anyway, I'll make a whole new post about moving and making friends later on.

 I lost people, but not only because of moving. I also lost my grandma to cancer in November. I'm so devastated, but I'm so happy that she doesn't have to go through the pain of chemotherapy and just dealing with cancer anymore. I know she's in a better place now. She'd been fighting cancer for around two years, and I can't even imagine how painful and tiring it must be for everyone that has to go through that. Stay strong.

Speaking of my grandmother, she was getting treated in New York, where her daughter lives. In August, we went to visit them. I'd always wanted to go to New York. I never thought that the first time I would go to New York would be the last time I'd see my grandmother. Unfortunately, I only got to spend a couple of days there, with her.
           

Now that I think about it, all of these things  happened in the second half of the year. That's because in the first half of the year, I was not happy.. In fact, I was a little depressed. I hated my life. Everything was so boring. But then I visited Canada in April, and I realized that I'm one of those people who hate routine. Traveling and moving to Canada really helped with that. I'm no longer sad anymore, the only thing making me sad is that I miss my old life. But then I think about how sad I was, and I no longer miss my life. I miss the people that were in it. But I know we will reunite one day. For now, I have new friends and new memories to make. I don't have time to dwell on the past.


 2014 was a fun ride. It was packed with loops and sudden ups and downs. Mostly downs in the beginning, and ups in the end. Like I'm being rewarded for going through it, or life is making up for bullying me. At least that's how I like to think of it.